Superman is dead

Ok, so I went to see the new movie Justice League. I go to cinema rarely. I think last time I went was at a movie about Martin Luther King Jr. Which was a long, long time ago.

I’m not really into the whole Marvel thing, I’m not into anything SF or fantasy. But from time to time it works. Plus , as I am getting better and better in regards to my depression setback, so I need to get out of my comfort zone and experience new things. And Jason Momoa helps. A hot piece of ass in 3d is good for a Friday evening.

There’s a scene with Clark Kent and Lois Lane where he tells her he will make things right this time. Lois’s superpower is to love a complex and strong character. I wondered, do we all get a Superman of our own? Maybe. Maybe we get to be one. Maybe we’re just to weak for both. But we get to choose if we face our fears or we run away, hide and pretend to be strong because we did so.

A few weeks ago I had a panic attack. I ate something and I started feeling weird. I thought it was allergic reaction so I panicked. I live alone and I have no friends who live close by that could or would jump to help. Yes, I know probably the ones that wouldn’t, I shouldn’t call them friends but that’s not the story line here. I talked to two of my friends on WhatsApp but of course, in the end, the fact was , I was alone, so I had to deal. I called the Emergency and left the door open, in case I collapse or something. I didn’t know what was happening and I thought I might die. That’s pretty much a full on panic attack. What stroke me was that this time my head was clear enough to not expect anyone to help. I didn’t ask because in those minutes, my mind knew exactly that I was on my own. So where’s my Superman? I guess I gotta be my own. Which is ok, as I am strong enough. This year has been an eye opener with so many things. But I have to say I also think that I became a bit cynical. I like to lie to myself otherwise but the truth is, I don’t believe in love, true love doesn’t exist for me anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining and I am not a pitty case. You don’t need to feel sorry for me. The passion is there. I love my friends and they love me back. I love nature and animals. By the way, I promised I will update, I started volunteer work at the cattery, am on my way there now. But no more romantic love for me. I’ve been told recently that I am hard to love. I can understand his reasoning, I am a complex person. But contrary to his beliefs, I am damn lovable. Acquired taste indeed. Not for everyone, just a few special people. And I love those people back like crazy. I do however draw the line when it comes to disrespect and integrity. When those are not crossed, I can forgive a lot. Maybe because I make a lot of mistakes myself.

I will leave you with this. Sometimes we get to forgive because we need the peace and because we know deep down that the people around us do the things they do because of their own demons, their own limitations . So, be your own super hero. Now, am off to take care of kitties.

2 thoughts on “Superman is dead

    1. Thank you! That’s nice to hear. I have also battled and (luckily ) won against depression. I feel it is important to raise awareness. The aftermath is also difficult, but am managing, rediscovering myself.

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